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Happiness in Sobriety

Writer's picture: Abby CalabreseAbby Calabrese

The way I look forward to my morning coffee 🥰
The way I look forward to my morning coffee 🥰

For much of my adult life, I believed happiness was just one step away—a promotion, a party, a glass of wine to unwind. Like so many women juggling careers, families, and the pressure to "have it all," I relied on alcohol to fill in the cracks. A stressful day at work? A glass of red would fix it. Celebrating a milestone? Champagne was the obvious choice. Wine became my companion, my ritual, my escape.


But somewhere along the way, I realized the so-called "highs" alcohol promised were fleeting. The morning after a night of drinks, I’d feel exhausted and foggy. The stress I thought I had melted away would creep back in. I started questioning whether alcohol was truly enhancing my life or holding me back from the deeper, more meaningful happiness I craved.


Now, at 38, as a mother, a professional, and someone who has achieved so many of the goals I once set for myself, I’ve found a surprising truth: the authentic, long-lasting happiness I had been chasing didn’t live at the bottom of a wine glass. It was waiting for me in sobriety.


The Turning Point


Sobriety wasn’t an overnight decision. I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly see alcohol for the false friend it was. Instead, it was a series of small realizations that accumulated over time. I remember struggling through weekend playdates with my kids, physically present but mentally foggy from the wine I had the night before. I looked around at the other parents, some engrossed in their kids’ activities, others scrolling on their phones. I felt like I was hovering in the middle—neither fully engaged nor completely detached. I wanted more for myself and my family.


I started reading about the effects of alcohol, not just on the body but on the mind and spirit. I learned about how it disrupts sleep, fuels anxiety, and keeps us stuck in a cycle of short-term gratification at the expense of long-term fulfillment. The more I learned, the more I began to see alcohol not as a treat but as a thief—stealing my energy, my clarity, and my ability to be fully present.


What I Gained by Letting Go


Letting go of alcohol wasn’t easy, but it was liberating. For the first time in years, I started waking up with a clear mind and a sense of optimism about the day ahead. I noticed my energy levels improving and my patience increasing—both with my children and with myself.


Sobriety has taught me to face my emotions head-on rather than numbing them with a drink. I’ve learned to sit with discomfort, to process my feelings, and to find healthier ways to cope. Whether it’s going for a walk, coloring, or simply talking to a friend, I’ve discovered tools that genuinely help me navigate life’s challenges rather than masking them.


But perhaps the greatest gift of sobriety has been the joy of presence. Without the haze of alcohol, I’ve been able to truly savor life’s moments—big and small. Whether it’s watching my son's face light up as he tells me about his latest Pokemon card trade or taking a quiet moment to appreciate the sunrise, I feel more connected to the world around me.


Three Tips for Starting Your Sobriety Journey


If you’re considering a life without alcohol, know that it’s a deeply personal journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Here are three tips that helped me take the first steps:


  1. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Spend time learning about the effects of alcohol on your body and mind. Books like This Naked Mind by Annie Grace or Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker can offer valuable insights and help shift your perspective on drinking.

  2. Find Your Why: Sobriety is easier to embrace when you have a clear sense of purpose. Maybe you want to improve your health, be more present for your family, or simply feel better each day. Write down your reasons for quitting and revisit them when you feel tempted.

  3. Build a Support System: You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s joining a sobriety coach, confiding in a close friend, or following inspiring social media accounts, surrounding yourself with support can make all the difference. Sharing your journey with others can help you stay accountable and motivated.


A Life Worth Savoring


Now, I wake up each morning feeling grateful (although still a little sleepy!)—not just for my sobriety but for the clarity and peace it’s brought into my life. Sobriety hasn’t made my life perfect, but it’s made it real. It’s allowed me to show up as the best version of myself—for my kids, my career, and most importantly, for me.


If you’re tired of chasing temporary highs and ready to embrace a deeper, more lasting happiness, I encourage you to take that first step. It might feel daunting, but I promise you, it’s worth it. On the other side of alcohol is a life that’s fuller, richer, and more authentic than anything you’ll ever find in a glass.


If you want some help getting started, book a free chat here. Wishing you a peaceful week ahead!

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