I've been thinking a lot this week about the guilt and self-doubt that comes along with being a working mom. In some ways, I think society has made a lot of progress in regard to understanding that both parents work but somehow the guilt has been lingering. How I see it show up with my clients is by them second guessing whether they are making the right decision with going after a promotion or larger role in their career.
They are bombarded with messaging of "They're only little once! This time goes so quick! At the end of the day - being with your family will be what matters most to you!"
YES, there's some truth to that. But there's always this whole other side of you as a person outside of being a parent. You have worked incredibly hard to get where you are and you deserve to go after that promotion or title that you have dreamed about as well!
So I would like to chat through some tips to help release those icky guilt feelings that sometimes creep up on you:
Recognize your inner critic - We all have an inner voice that puts us down, but you have to realize that voice isn't helpful and doesn't define your worth. Those critical thoughts are usually far from the truth.
Focus on your intentions - Remind yourself that you work to provide for your family financially and emotionally by being a role model. Lovingly taking care of your kids and family is what matters most.
Evaluate judgments realistically - Are others really thinking bad things about you or judging your decisions? Chances are, people are more wrapped up in their own lives than analyzing yours.
Stay present with your kids - When you are home, be fully engaged and limit distractions. Quality time together can help ease any doubts you may have.
Prioritize self-care - Feeling good physically and mentally through stress relief activities gives you more patience and confidence as a mom. Make time for hobbies you enjoy.
Accept imperfect progress - Parenting is a journey with ups and downs. Even supermoms don't get everything right. Practice grace and forgiveness with yourself during challenges.
Let go of unrealistic standards - Social media promotes an unattainable standard of perfection. Focus on who you are and what you value rather than comparing to others.
Leave the past behind - Dust off mistakes or regrets instead of carrying them forward. Each new day is a clean slate to do your personal best as a mom.
You deserve to feel peaceful and proud. With self-compassion, guilt and doubts tend to fade to the background where they belong.
You've got this!
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